Tick tick goes the clock
Time is a funny thing...
People say Time heals all wounds. Time is money. Time is eternal. In my mind...Time is trapping.
The past 6 months have passed in a blur of endless monotony and while I've accomplished so much at the same time I've accomplished so little. Isn't it funny that we spend so much of our younger years wishing to be older, wishing for experiences just beyond our reach...and then we get to a point where we start wishing we were younger? We get caught up in the hum drum of everyday life, going to school or work, traffic, family commitments and before we realise it its New Year's Eve and we are counting down to another year. How many times have I heard someone say "I can't believe it's nearly March already" counting down to their holidays, birthdays or christmas. Why do we spend so much time wishing instead of living each day the way it comes. Time moves so quickly...no matter what we go through the world stops for no-one. I wish it would just...stop!
People say Time heals all wounds. Time is money. Time is eternal. In my mind...Time is trapping.
The past 6 months have passed in a blur of endless monotony and while I've accomplished so much at the same time I've accomplished so little. Isn't it funny that we spend so much of our younger years wishing to be older, wishing for experiences just beyond our reach...and then we get to a point where we start wishing we were younger? We get caught up in the hum drum of everyday life, going to school or work, traffic, family commitments and before we realise it its New Year's Eve and we are counting down to another year. How many times have I heard someone say "I can't believe it's nearly March already" counting down to their holidays, birthdays or christmas. Why do we spend so much time wishing instead of living each day the way it comes. Time moves so quickly...no matter what we go through the world stops for no-one. I wish it would just...stop!
I find myself applying for jobs joining the crowds, wishing for time to speed up, a Bernard's watch in reverse. It dawns on me that once or if I get a job that I'll be working for the rest of my life, am
I ready for this?
This year has been full of challenges in forms I never ever imagined I'd experience and everytime I'm faced with a problem I say "I need time" how many times can I use this excuse before I trap myself in a state of never ending repetition? A dementia patient is trapped in time, their surroundings, memories, understanding of people are caught in a web of time that doesn't quite make sense any more. I have spent months since I moved home watching a family member slowly get confused, slowly lose the connections unable to access the links that make things make sense. While this confusion may be linked to other causes it's so difficult to see. I admit I don't visit enough but I'm scared! Will they look at me some day and just not remember?
All of our memories, emotions, scenarios are linked to a date, a time, a person. We can never truly forget and why would we want to? It's my feeling that time never really heals all wounds it simply gives us time to make new memories pushing the old ones to the back of a file cabinet where they get lost.
After all of my musings I normally reach some form of cliched epiphany, so here it goes...I can let my surroundings overwhelm me but I can never change it, things happen for a reason and focusing so much on when things happen is getting me nowhere. I will not wish for time to move on because someday I might not have any more left, I'm pretty sure Buddha said that, so I best make the most of today and stop overthinking and be more like Alice
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